Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
