??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
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Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
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We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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