Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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