where am i from again
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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