i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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