she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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