Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
