I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
