Are we in a gay sports bar?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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