i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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