I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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