the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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