i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
