Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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