I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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