Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
