we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize