everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
