I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize