No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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