508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
