She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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