i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
