i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
