Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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