It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
