Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
