i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
