Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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