The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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