Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Randomize
