Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
time to smoke my breakfast
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
