So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
