i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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