it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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