how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
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No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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