Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
