Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
they call him Oral-B. enough said
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
