she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize