just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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