i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
