Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
