Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize