I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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