God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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