I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
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