Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
