Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
