brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
