I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
