he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
MIDGETS
????
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
