D3 body, D1 cock
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
