The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
