I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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