i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
