Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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