I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
