not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
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We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
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Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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