apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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