i think my tv is drunk
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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